Remembering Freda

I have written this entry in my head about ten times already.  This happens to me often.  I have an entry I want to write, but it has to work itself out in m  y head before I can get it written.

Today we went to a memorial service for Freda.  She fought cancer for 5 years and doctors said she was close to the end of her battle, but they were hopeful she would make it Thanksgiving and possibly even Christmas.  However, she lost her battle on Tuesday.  As it is with most families that have had a loved one fight cancer and lose, we are all happy that she is no longer in pain, but she will be terribly missed.

Freda was an incredibly Godly women.  If you never knew Freda, but went to her service today, you would have no doubt how incredible she was.  A loving wife, an incredible mom, a superb Nana, a fabulous hostess.  She was patient, graceful, sweet-spirited, fun. The list goes on and on.  She was a lady that welcomed me into her home many times.  I was friends with her middle daughter before that particular daughter decided to be my sister-in-law.

A few weeks ago I wrote a post titled "Not What God Intended".  I could probably title this entry with the same exact title.  That was basically the sermon of the service today.  This topic has laid so heavily on my heart these days, which is probably why I sobbed so uncontrollably during the service.  It makes me wonder how anyone that does not know God handles any grief in their life.  Our only hope is that one day we will be reunited with Freda one day.  Not everyone has that speck of hope if such sadness.  Can you imagine?

I did sob.  Not my typical crying, because, well, I'm a crier.  But shoulder shaking, everyone passing me a kleenex sobbing.  To be honest, I was crying before our van even left the driveway.  I guess I should have been embarrassed by what I looked like afterwards, but I was not.  My dear friend (and sister-in-law) was just in my home on Monday - less than 24 hours before Freda's passing.  She was hopeful her Mom would make it to their big Thanksgiving.  She was trying to decide what to tell her children.  We cried, we hugged and hugged some more.  Freda was not only Sarah's mom, but also her best friend.

It sucks!  That is just the truth, and I am putting it as PG as I can.  As I sat there and cried, I truly was crying for Sarah.  I am sad for Freda's other two daughters and I am sad for her 90-year old mother who has to bury her daughter.  And I am very, very sad for her husband, Tom - Freda's incredibly loving husband who cared for her day after day after day for five years.  Such selfless love.  Such an example to all of us.

Because of my connection with the family, I was crying for Sarah.  For I knew the pain in her eyes not 24 hours before.  When I went to the reception right after the service, I finally found Sarah and hugged her and she said she had prayed that someone else would take her grief for the hour of the service so that she was not a blubbering idiot by the time she got to the reception.  When she looked back and saw me in the service, she knew I was it.  And I was glad to take it for her (minus the migraine afterwards).

Freda will be sadly missed.  It will be a really tough holiday season without Nana.  But you have to smile when you think of Freda, who has been in so much pain, running around the streets of Heaven - PAIN FREE!  What a glorious thought!