Wearing Black Today

I like colorful!

Some would say, for me - the louder, the better.

But today, my heart ached when I woke up.  In Mourning.  All Black.

My fingers actually tremble as I type this entry.

A few weeks ago, a dear friend got a call.  Her sister was pregnant.  Her sister is in her late thirties and has never had a child.  She always wanted to have a child, but was struggling to know if this was a good thing.

Of course, a child, is a blessing.  A gift from God.  I see that.

But to some, they do not see.

My friend was expressing to her sister the blessing side, while the boyfriend was expressing the exact opposite.  Agonizing 24 hour periods of back and forth.  Texts, phone calls, silence.  Prayer.  Texts, phone calls, texts, silence.  Prayer.  Repeat again tomorrow.

Last night, my friend got the call.  The baby no longer was living.  Pregnancy Terminated.  All of the prayer warriors devastated.  I know my friend is devastated never to meet her niece or nephew.  Why do people think this is ok, we ask?  Of course, there is no good answer to this question.

Honestly, I think we all expected this outcome, but we were praying for a miracle.  We were all pleading with God to save the life of this helpless little one that could not fight for them self.  We were praying and praying and praying.  And God did hear our prayers.  He really did.  We are instructed to pray, no matter what.  God has a plan, that might not be what we are praying for, but we are still instructed to pray.  And we are instructed to trust that His plan is perfect.

So, now my prayer is peace for my friend.  This has weighed very heavily on her over the last few weeks.  And now she is sorrowful for the decision her sister has made.  I pray she has peace that she honored God and did what she could to instruct her sister the best she knew how.

And for her sister, I do not pray for peace.  I pray for absolute turmoil in her heart and unbearable sorrow that will bring her to seek ultimate healing.  I pray that this awful thing in her life will bring her to the Lord.

So, today I wore all black.

Except bright red lipstick.  To symbolize the blood of Christ that can heal all sin.